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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Professionally printed CD in a full colour card sleeve. It is...we think you'll agree...very sexy.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Leave Them Wanting Less via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Full Digital Discography

    8
    releases

    Get all 8 Plastic Jeezus releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Leave Them Wanting Less, Utter Baubles, The Biscuit Song, Escape (The P. E. Song), Quite Heavy Things, Live at St. Pancras Old Church, Choose Your Own Misadventure, and EP2. , and , .

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lyrics

Thank you for calling our hotline today,
Please note you’ve been placed in a queue.
Your call is important to us,
So we say,
But not so important we’ll actually put you through.
So press 1 if your query relates to a bill,
Press 2 if you’re seeking a loan,
Press 3 if you’re gradually losing the will,
Press 4 if you’d love us to pick up the phone,
Press 5 to hear the options again.

Now using your keypad
Please enter the third,
Fourth and twenty-ninth character
Of your password,
Which you set maybe seven or eight years ago
And you can’t be expected to actually know.

Please note that we may be recording your call
For the purpose of training our staff.
Try not to use any bad language at all.
Yeah, and good luck with that,
Once you’ve queued for an hour and a half.

Now press 1 if your query relates to a bill,
Press 2 if you’re seeking a loan,
Press 3 if you’re fighting a strong urge to kill,
Press 4 if you just want to get in your car,
Drive down to the call centre,
Smash down the door,
And shout “ANSWER THE BLEEDIN’ PHONE”.

Press 5 to hear the options again.

credits

from Leave Them Wanting Less, released February 7, 2022
Written by: Plastic Jeezus
Mixed by Aaron Roberts
Mastered by Dave Holder

Vocals, ukulele, keys, harpsichord: Simon
Backing vocals, bass, banjo, drum-programming, synth: Aaron

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Plastic Jeezus Bournemouth, UK

Hello, we're Plastic Jeezus. We play funny tunes about silly things and we live in Bournemouth. Our names are Aaron and Simon.

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