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The Fortune Teller

from Leave Them Wanting Less by Plastic Jeezus

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lyrics

Now Carol chose the tarot card
The seven of swords,
I said "That means you're gonna be
The victim of a fraud".
And I was right, as always,
Though that wasn't too hard.
Cos when she paid me I just cloned her credit card

Cos I'm the fortune teller
I can predict your future
I never fail
I guarantee
100% accuracy.

So I read Billy's tealeaves
And I told him things looked bleak.
I said "You will be dead by the end of the week".
But Billy was a cynic
And he doubted me.
But Billy didn't know about the arsenic in his tea.

Cos I'm the fortune teller
I can predict your future
I never fail
I guarantee
100% accuracy.

Sally came to see me
So I could read her palm.
I said "Beware, it says right there you're gonna come to harm".
She said I was a liar
And that it was nonsense, but
She won't get far in her stupid car with the brake cables cut.

Cos I'm the fortune teller
I can predict your future
I never fail
I guarantee
100% accuracy.

I am the fortune teller
I can predict your future
I never fail
I guarantee
100% accuracy.

credits

from Leave Them Wanting Less, released February 7, 2022
Written by: Plastic Jeezus
Mixed by Aaron Roberts
Mastered by Dave Holder

Vocals, ukulele, keys, loops: Simon
Backing vocals, fretless bass, drum-programming: Aaron
Trumpet: George Bartle

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Plastic Jeezus Bournemouth, UK

Hello, we're Plastic Jeezus. We play funny tunes about silly things and we live in Bournemouth. Our names are Aaron and Simon.

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